Me on a BIke?

So, I finally did it. Paul, practically forced me to get a bike and I did. He really is a good husband!!!
Okay, so here's to losing wait and getting my blood pressure down.

Good morning roses and Theo

End of Tulip Season

I have early and late bloomers
Is God not creative?

My Garden MY Haven

I love to garden, mostly I like roses.
Here is a peek at what is coming our way for summer 2008

Friends and Family Grad Night

Friends

Paul and his Mom grad night

Family at Grad

Old Friends Graduating

Good Friends Graduating

Grad Night

A Night to Remember

Convocation 2008

Well, I did it I now have my Master of Divinity
Here is the class of 2008

The Tree

God looked down on the virgin land,
And rollicking sea.
The earth was but an infant,
Bare and vulnerable.

“Let vegetation come forth”, he said.

Grass, flowers and trees,
Plants for food,
Plants for shelter.

God put his finger print in the soil.
And gently planted each blade of grass
And admired their movement in the breeze.

He carefully set each fragile flower,
And paused with pleasure as He engulfed
Their fragrance.

God’s hands embraced each tree.
Admiring the trunk for its strength.
Each branch with nourishment for the leaves,
He smiled on.
But He hesitated, as He touched the wood.

And in the mind of the finite,
Flashed the words “One Day”.

When God completed His world,
With creatures of every kind,
He announced to the universe that “it was good”.

He then gave life to man and woman
and placed them in a garden.

The Heavenly Son looked at His Father
and they said “It is very good”.

Two trees stood in the midst of the garden,
One for knowledge,
One for life.
Attractive,
Beneficial,
Desirable.

One day the Spirit warned,
From the arms of a tree
The voice of temptation will be uttered.
“Do this – be Wise
God didn’t mean . . . ”

The enemy taunted,
The fruit of the tree,
Take and eat,
Know good and evil.

Deceived.
Distance.
Death.

The fruit of the tree in human hands,
The hope of life out of their reach

Generations of trees,
Generations of men and women,

living
dying
living
dying

One day,
An axe broke the bark of a tree,
And cut into the flesh of the tree,
A tree strong, majestic.
And again the axe slashed the tree,
Bringing it down to the ground.

Roughly cut,
Crudely assembled.
That tree’s humble destiny – a feed box for cattle

One night,
Outside the noise and bustle of a little town,
A baby was born and sheltered,
New life was held in the wooden arms of a manger.

The baby boy grew and learned,
Watched his father’s skilful hands hold the wood,
As he crafted with his tools.
Often he would step back and admire his work and proclaim “Good!”

Someplace,
Somehow,
There were memories for the boy,
Of another time,
Of another Father.
Who shaped the trees in his hands
Who delighted in creating the wood.

The boy grew and became a man.

Amid the cries and jeers,
Within the city walls,
He was judged,
Beaten and mocked.
He stumbled under,
A heavy wooden beam on his shoulders,
As the crowd pressed on,
To the hill beyond.

tears
cheers
cries
taunts
A life facing death
stripped
exposed
body bleeding

“Crucify Him”,
The crowd sang out, to the beat on the metal nails.

cold
course
through warm flesh
into the dry wood

life
death

The wooden cross raised high the dying form

Had God known?
Had God known that the tree he created,
Would become the cross?!

The cross lowered,
The body entombed.

darkness
distance
death

New life 3 days later.
The Father had remembered.

Why do you look for the living
among the dead?

He is alive

He is the way, the truth and the life.

He is the way to the tree of life

Take and eat
And live.

Missing Mommy

April 23 was the 7th anniversary of my beloved mother passing away.

I cannot believe it has been seven years, it seems just like it was yesterday.
Now, the tears are less and the pain has decreased, but that loss will never go away.
And nor should it. We have experienced a great loss and that needs to be spoken.
We live in a culture that wants to clean things up quickly and sterilizes the rest.

But no, we should remember, we should grieve and we should never forget.
In this "never forgetting" we also recall God's great work and grace.
We renew our hope in resurrection and are faith is Jesus is refreshed.

The faith that Jesus possessed is also ares and we need not worry that it is mixed with grief.

So here's to my mom-missed greatly, but still loved deeply.
Until we meet again. God's peace.
Pamela

Spring 2008 First Fruits

My garden is bursting forth, declaring the majesty of God!

God always calls

The last time I checked I was a Christian,
But today I blew it and pretty sure I can't be forgiven.
"Come home my child", I hear Him say.
"It's time for dinner and then will play".
"You still love me, Lord?" I asked at once.
"Of course I do my silly kid, love is all I have to give".
PCFS

Psalm 143

Psalm 143 has become important to me these past few months. Although, I still love Psalm 46, I have discovered that Psalm 143 speaks to me in a way that makes a great deal of common sense. It is a great Psalm to begin your day with and to end with, at night.

When you read Psalm 143 you can see several things about God's attributes and several things about King Davids attributes. (And yes, I believe King David actually wrote this Psalm)

First thing to note is, that God is described as faithful, righteous, a place of refuge, a worker of deeds, possessing a good spirit and has steadfast love.

In a slight contrast King David is looking for refuge, seeking God's ways, entreating God to hear his prayer, remembering God's wonderful works, declaring he is God's servant, bares his whole body and soul towards God in a humble act of seeking, puts his trust in God, asks for remembrance of God's steadfast love, searches for a level path that only God can provide and asks God to help, in dealing with his enemies. He also asks God to help him do His will.

David is clearly in a relationship with God. If you are ever wondering what it means to be in a healthy relationship with someone, well this Psalm can help you.

In healthy relationships whether they be friendships, marital, family, professional, socially and or meeting strangers you can learn form this Psalm. This Psalm teaches about trust, love, remembrance, care, safety, righteousness, faithfulness, humility and servant-hood.

Now I know I have not dealt with the historical context of the this Psalm and perhaps, I need to. Right off the bat however, it is clear that David is in some predicament and seeks out his loving God to help him. But we can also seek out God and should seek out God for all times whether good or bad. And we know from this Psalm that God will answer, David is after all remembering the days of old, when God was near him.

So for me and as an offering for you, I suggest you mediate on this Psalm in the morning and at night offering yourself as a servant to God, recalling how good God has been in the past, how His steadfast love has carried you through whatever circumstances.

Pamela

Spring has Sprung

I look outside my window,
The blooming hyacinths are there.
I smell the cool wet grass,
Beginning to grow.
A soft wind silently passes,
Spring has certainly sprung.

The silence of the afternoon is deafening.
I feel restless and afraid.
I watch the Robins and the Cardinals,
Almost jealous at the work they have begotten.
This Spring, has begun.

I want to stop time.
I watch as soft clouds drift by.
More rain is coming.
This is good, no one will see my tears.
I want the Spring to stop.

The life that burst forth in front of me, is exhausting.
I cling to the window sill,
Terrified of the new life in front of me.
I am to drained to think of the sowing and weeding,
And watering that is needed.
Too tired to think about the fertilizer and pruning that is required,
For my garden to be the beauty it was meant for.

I want Winter.

But alas, the Cardinals red has caught my attention,
It glows with majesty.
And then, Theophilus, my 25 pounds of black fur, runs past me,
Chasing the birds with delight. I catch myself laughing and call to him.
He loves Spring.

He rolls around in the mud gleefully, purring.
How could I deny him this?
How can I deny the tulips and daffodils their time in the sun?
How could I ever want to stop Spring?

I go the garage, and grab the rake.
I sweat after an hours work.
I take in the sun with all of its promises,
And wonder where God has been?
"Spring", I hear Him whisper, "Spring".

A time of renewal and resurrection.
A time to begin again.
A time to dust off the winter and trust again.
Spring has sprung, my mind knows this.
It's my heart that won't wake.

It knows the pruning to come,
For it has already begun.
The past few weeks have been so laborious,
Anger, fighting, winds of war and tumultuous rain.
The Spring in my heart can be so damp.

But I stand here, looking at winters moldy leaves.
"Ready to rake?", He asks.
"Yes Lord, but I am tired of waiting".
"I know", He says softly. "But summer is just around the corner,
Rake now and seed, I'll do the rest".
So I rake, clearing a place for new seed.
Spring clean up has begun.

I smell the grass and suddenly feel a warm breeze.
Theophilus, is at my feet. He is rolling, purring and smiling.
The hopes of roses and gardenias fill my mind,
They are my favorite flowers, and I have missed them.
"The summer will bring what you need", He offers.
"Trust the seeds we plant, trust the Spring.
"Trust me"!

Lent with Tom Wright

Radio 4 has a lent talk by NTW:
 >
 >
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/genres/religion/aod.shtml?radio4/lenttalks

How not to Preach

an example of how not to preach:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDxcyqeRc-4

-------

Easter with N.T. Wright

God in Private and Public
> 1 Samuel 3.1–10; Revelation 1.5b–8; Luke 7.36–50
>
> Sermon at the Maundy Thursday Sung Eucharist, 20 March 2008
> by the Bishop of Durham, Dr N. T. Wright
>
> http://www.ntwrightpage.com/sermons/MaundyThurs08.htm
>

Easter 2008

Easter. I approach the years' empty tomb.
What has time done with itself?
Is the news worth the communicating?
The word's loincloth can remember little.
A thin, cold wind blows from beyond the abysm
that I gawk into.
But supposing there were bones; the darkness
illuminated like a museum?
In glass cases I have peered at the brittle bundles,
exonerating my conscience with mortality's tears.
But here, true to my name, I have nothing to hold on
to, an absence so much richer than a presence,
offering instead of the skull's leer an impaled possibility
for faith's fingertips to explore

 - R.S. Thomas

February 27th Happy Anniversary Daddy

One week today, February 27, 2008 is the first anniversary of my Father's (Arthur Fitkin ) home-going to Jesus. He has been deeply missed, but we believe in Resurrection of the Dead because of the atoning work of Jesus, the Christ. That is what my Father taught us.

This poem is in memoriam

Daddy,
It's been a year, since you passed away,
Not one day goes by, without relief from this pain.
I miss you so, my friend, and brother,
The greatest daddy one could ever muster.

The memories of you, so ill, remain quite fresh,
But I am beginning to recall the days of old.
When you laughed and sang, played and loved.

You were always there to wipe away my tears
And kiss my shin when I fell down.
You were simply, a perfect Dad.

Today, I think of you in hockey gear, at the cottage and on your bus.
I remember Florida sunsets and Virgina winds.
I see clearly the way you and mommy always held hands.

When I think upon you, nearly everyday, I remember most what it was, you used to say,
"Remember Jesus, he loves you Pammy. Remember what Jesus did, everyday".
My redeemer, my King and brother too, was what you taught Me,
To trust and do.

So from this day forth, I will recall the hope in Resurrection you instilled,
I will grieve no more, for my sorrow has turned to joy.

I cry sometimes, but that's okay because I know that you are at
Rest and play, within His arms, our loving God.
The time has come to move along, not to look back, but forward still,
Until the day we're together again.

Happy Anniversary, one year with Jesus.
Say hi to mommy, nana, papa, grandma and grandpa too.
I miss you all so deeply and true.
But soon will be together again, 'cause that is what God has promised.
So I will remember what you have said and continue trusting in the
Lord again.

With my eternal love, your daughter,
Pamela
Toronto, February 20, 2008

What Is Our Hope?

A few days ago a dear lady from my church, called to encourage me. Marilyn, is a senior with a tremendous life story. A PhD in her own right and a native New Yorker lends to her often fantastical personality which I have the privilege of knowing. I have expressed some recent discouragement to her and she called that day, to say, "she had something for me". Her something was the following sentence. "To hope, until hope creates the thing it contemplates".
Since that conversation, I have been pondering her gift and I called her to ask' where did it come from'? She could not remember. So briefly, with the help of the internet, we discovered together that it was part of a Percy Shelley quote (August 4, 1792 – July 8, 1822. The full quote is as follows:

"To suffer woes which Hope thinks infinite; To forgive wrongs darker than death or night; To defy power which seems omnipotent; To love, and bear; to hope till Hope creates From its own wreck the thing it contemplates".

This quote is from Prometheus Unboun , a Lyrical Drama, which was completed at Florence in the autumn of 1819, In Prometheus, an inverted plot of a lost play by Aeschylus, is found
In Act IV, and the closing lines of the drama, Demogorgon (as far as I know a Demogorgon is a terrible deity, whose very name was capable of producing the most horrible effects) speaks those words to all creatures that, should the fragile state of grace be lost, they can restore their moral freedom through these “spells”:
This has caught my attention greatly, especially when thinking about hope as a "spell".
I am not sure I understand all of this, especially in light of Shelley being an Athiets. What hope was he looking for, what does it mean that Grace is lost? More specifically, what type of hope is really being offered especially by Demogorgon?
I know that I hope in being resurrected the way Jesus of Nazareth was. And I hope to see my loved ones again who have "died in Christ" and finally I hope daily for my needs to be met. This is a hope that is always answered. I guess then I "contemplate" Jesus regularly and even though through wrong thoughts deeds and words I "wreck" my witness in Jesus, I am still hopeful and know that I am loved.
My friend who offered these words of hope knows this too and I am thankful that we share a common hope in Jesus. In the end I think Shelley and Demogorgon are after the same thing and that is hope found in God. Saint Paul says in Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit". And in Matthew 12:21 "In his name the nations will put their hope".

Today, if you are wondering about hope and you feel that grace is lost, remember Jesus. He had the hope of being resurrected-and He was!

What Am I Giving Up for Lent? FEAR

The last three weeks, if you have been following my blog, know that it has been a difficult time for me. I have walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. I have willfully walked outside of God's Kingdom in search of an easier path and I have been ruefully living in fear.
So what's going on and how am I trying to give all of this to the Lord?

When looking at Psalm 51 I feel like King David has written that Psalm just for me. David says in verses 2,3,4,

"Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just".

My rebellion has been to accept a spirit of fear and impatience. I have let fear control me. This fear comes from not having a structured time schedule, not having a job, missing my best friend who is in Africa, having a husband who is going through his own difficult time and by not spending deep quality time with Jesus.
It is a difficult time that I am going through, but I have made it more difficult by not spending time with God and asking God to fill me with His wisdom, patience and grace to endure longsuffering.
Now that we have entered into the Lenten season and as our hearts begin to prepare to worship and remember the agony of Jesus leading to His death, I have decided to confess my sin, return to God, for I know He loves me. I will do this by releasing this spirit of fear and capture instead, God's spirit of love, mercy and joy.
Psalm 51 goes onto say, "

"Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice".

I have been broken and my heart is contrite. I accept the Lord's cleansing and I begin today afresh. I know the road ahead seems dark and murky, but "His rod and His staff shall comfort me"
David finishes Psalm 51 by saying,

"You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God".

Why does David say this? Because of how he begins the Psalm David knows that, God will have mercy on him "because of [His] unfailing love.

Lent is a time for us to reflect on what Jesus gave up when He came to earth, a time to reflect on how amazing God's love is for us and a serious time to reflect what sin we must trade in for God's holyness and righteoussness.
I am giving up fear and trading it in for trust!

I Love Winter, but....

I really love winter. I love the glory of snow and this morning when I woke up to our, what 20 billionth snow storm? I thought, 'Wow how gorgeous is that'.
Now the truth is, I am getting tired of it-actually I am tired of all the precipitation, if we could now just have three or four days with some sunshine this snow would be picture perfect-but that is not the plan. Anyway, we should rejoice in this beautiful creation of God's and get out and make snow angels!

Here is me, doing just that from last weeks storm:

What Does it Mean to Trust?

There is a lot I want to say tonight, but my heart is aching and I am tired, filled with tears that are escaping as I type. So I will just say with as much belief as I can muster that I believe "You will keep in perfect peace, all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 (New Living Translation)

and from Philippians 4 verse 6-7,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".

So tonight as I go to bed very tired, feeling alone and a little confused, I will recall how much I am loved by God and that I have perfect peace.
Pamela

Conversations with Teens

Introduction

On Friday November 9, 2007 two classmates and I headed to downtown Toronto, to the Eaton Centre food court, to begin our “Talking to Teens” assignment. The evening was filled with a few surprises and an unexpected bonding of sorts, between three women whom immensely love Jesus and love talking about their relationship with Him, to others, especially teens. One thing that did surprise me was the number of tables of teens that turned me down. When I was a teen I loved filling out surveys and showing off to adults about how much I knew, but the first few teens I approached all said “no way lady”. I felt “old”. Some of them looked at me like I was from Mars, and at first I thought maybe I was, but eventually I found some agreeable groups to speak with and quite enjoyed my evening. An unexpected surprise was watching and hearing back from my fellow classmates. These two, much older women classmates were so happy, alive and bursting with excitement. I was very honored they asked if they could do the assignment with me and I am glad to report deeper friendships were forged.

The following short paper is a reflection on that evening using the guideline questions provided in class.

How I felt about talking to teens

I quite enjoyed the evening I spent and often felt a little sad when the conversations were over. For a few moments I felt like I suddenly wanted to be “back” in full-time youth ministry because I see such great potential in what these precious young lives could be like, if they knew Jesus deeply. However, I know that I am called for congregational ministry as a whole (which right now includes doing one on one mentoring with 13 year old girls).

I am really thankful that I have not only great seminary training, but also an undergrad in New Testament. This rich and broad education came in handy when one young man began to question me about Richard Dawkins and his views. I wasn't scared and didn't feel pressured by his obvious science knowledge because fortunately, I had not only read Dawkins' book, but also Alistair McGrath's book opposing Dawkins views and attended a McGrath lecture on the topic of “delusion” a year ago. The young man was impressed that I knew Dawkins and his views (this caused him to relax and ask further questions). This encounter reinforces or answers the question in the assignment, “from my discussions with the students, it appears that if I want to minister to them, I had better.....” Being up to date on what teens are reading, studying, playing with and are interested in is crucial for “entering” into their lives.

One thing I became “aware” of was how much I prayed during the conversations. I constantly repeated the phrase 'your words Father, not mine' and 'don't let me get in the way of what you can do here Father'. When I reflect on this I feel good that I know I was centered on God and His purpose, for these kids. At one point, I completely forgot I was doing an “assignment”!

Was I surprised by the conversations?

Yes, many of the teens I spoke to were Christians. I was secretly hoping to encounter non- Christians and in fact I was a little disappointed when I realized most of my teens went to church. Though, this disappointment challenge me to see if there was a little bit of pride floating in me that I somehow was going to be a great evangelist for a couple of hours-this reflection has been a good reality check!

I was surprised by the clothing worn by some of the “Christian” teens. In one case (a girl) a lack of clothing was also a concern for me, but there wasn't a place in the conversation to discuss fashion with them. Also, since I had no relationship with these strangers I may potentially have come across as judgmental, so I kept quiet.

I was surprised by a lack of passion that the Christian teens demonstrated as opposed to the bursting for life passion the non-Christians had. There was a mundane attitude that slightly alarmed me with the “church” kids, that the secular kids did not possess. The non-Christian teens had more spunk, vitality and were excited about life. An example of this (although may see it as negative) was the way the non-Christian teens challenged me. One boy made the comment “Christianity is one of the finest marketing ploys created by men”. I broke out laughing when he said this and encouraged him that 'I agreed, that I too had been exposed to some “marketing” tools that I found offensive and didn't talk about the real Gospel of love through Jesus. He thanked me for my honesty. This encounter raises the question for me, are we boring our church teens to death? Are our teens able to see thorough marketing tools of either the world or unauthentic churches? Are our teens critically thinking? Furthermore, I asked myself am I bored with Jesus? Should we not be filled with the same vitality for life as non-Christians?

What did my conversations indicate about the teens?

As I have mentioned some of them are educated beyond their present school grade and they are all interested in going to university. They also were open to talking freely about God's existence or non-existence. I did get a sense that they were much more worldly then I was (I was not necessarily a good girl) at that age. I don't mean sinful stuff, but that they have bigger worries then I did. I did not grow up in war time, nor did I worry about gangs at school. Two of the teens mentioned the “gangs” in their schools and the mentality that you must have a safe group at school to belong to or you could get into trouble and have “No one to watch your back”. This last comment actually came from one of the Christian kids and it indicated for me that maybe high school, young adult ages, regardless of their faith, right now, might actually be harder for them, than it was for past generations.

Were the Teens Open to Talking about Spiritual Issues?

Yes, but as I expressed the non-Christians were so much more alive about it. The church teens were joyless and it made me think that if their bored, does that mean their faith is superficial or has it been presented in a non-vibrant way? Hence, can their faith sustain some of life's darker challenges that they may not have faced yet if indeed their faith is blasé?

Another issues, perhaps, pertaining to the doldrums is the fact that the non-Christian teens seemed to be “proud” of their agnostic and or atheistic beliefs. They were comfortable asking me questions and comfortable holding their own views that were quite different from mine.

Designing a Ministry for These Teens:

First, with the professing believers I would find out why they were so lifeless and find away to cultivate a deeper, fresh relationship with Jesus with them. I suspect that teens often start to perceive a disconnect between the “real world” and their “church world” especially if what goes on in church seems to have no bearing on the way they are experiencing life. I make this suggestion when reflecting on the very “punkish” clothing and or lack of clothing that a couple of the teens were wearing. I suspect they would not be “allowed” to dress that way for church, but in reality it may be the everyday clothes they wear to school. This disconnect, leads to their identity being worked out thorough often judgmental peers at school and church. If pushed to far, they will most likely rebel and stop attending church. We must keep in mind that kids spend more time at school then they do at church and school is often the place they are more influenced by. Furthermore, I would build relationships with the teens by way of an intentional mentoring program. I would connect the teens with connection to others of the church, not just the programs. I would look for creative ways to foster relationships with their peers and with other adults who will care about them. This is something I would also do with the non-Christian teens. Finally, one of the most important things to me is that I live out the passion and joy I have in my relationship with Jesus. If our teens see a vibrant and real faith being lived out and verbally expressed in our daily walk, I think it will go a long way toward helping them consider what an adult faith system can look like.

Did the assignment help me to talk to these people about Jesus?

Yes, but I qualify that yes with the reality that the assignment reinforced for me that that I am not afraid to speak about my faith to either strangers or friends. I am not afraid to say 'I don't know' as an answer to a question and I am fairly quick to add, 'but I'll find someone who does know'. I feel very confirmed that I know presently who I am in Jesus and how excited I am about my faith. Perhaps, excitement is the wrong word, I have great joy in Jesus and I knew that before the assignment. What the assignment clearly did for me was identify that I do not talk intentionally enough to non- Christians about my faith nearly as much as I should do. Most of my discussions about God are with the church kids I mentor, my family, school mates and current mentors in my life. I need to be more intentional about evangelism, but saying that and doing it are two different things. What I need to trust is in what I am called to become and that is to be more Christ-like, a Godly wife, a healthy pastor, and a great friend to all, God puts in my path. Ultimately, I believe healthy ministry can happen everywhere and all the time as long as we are intentionally seeking His Spirit to guide us throughout our day and to being open to Him to leading us to those young or old that need a word of Grace, or a listening ear.

Conclusion

God has a miraculous way of using situations to meet all the needs of people present, even if the original intent of those in a project, for an example, is surpassed. What I am trying to say is that on the that Friday night when three students were fulfilling an assignment requirement God was very present and not just in our conversations with the kids, but for us too. To be very honest I was a little jealous watching Ellen and Angel. Before my very eyes they were glowing from their new found gifts and I affirm both of them have gifts in evangelism and in dealing with youth. I was even slightly jealous of Ellen who “nabbed” the table of Muslim girls-I wanted them!! Thankfully, I found myself responding by taking a step back and celebrating with them and also reminding myself that indeed the night was not just for an assignment. I also reminded myself of the joy I have had when I have discovered my new gifts. There was no reason for me to be jealous, it was not a competition and after all I had done this exercise before (helping a friend with hers. From Tyndale) and have experience in youth ministry. For these two wonderful ladies it was all new and I rejoice not only in their discovery of new gifts, but I was honoured to see their enthusiasm and willingness to serve their Lord. I trust seeds were planted (I wish all my seminary assignments had such far reaching implications) last Friday night, with all the kids we talked to and I know I saw small tips of new life, bursting forth from Angela and Ellen.

Orthodox Exegesis

Introduction

The following paper is a critical review of John Behr’s The Mystery of Christ: Life and Death and an identification and evaluation of the hermeneutic method employed by John Breck, found in his book, The Power of the Word: In the Worshiping Church, After this review, I will include a critique of my historical-critical method which was applied to my “Son of Man” mid-term paper which I have deemed: missed the confessional and spiritual aspect of the theology presented in the texts. I will briefly comment on Georgy Florovsky's work, from his Second Volume entitled, Revelation and Interpretation. I will conclude with a brief comment about Orthodox hermeneutics.

John Behr

On page 15 of John Behr’s book, The Mystery of Christ: Life and Death he suggests, that we should rethink our theology, we should “rethink its vocabulary and manner in which we read scripture”. Arguing from the perspective of Kierkegaard’s observation that we, “understand backward, yet fail to take adequate account of this fact” (15), Behr says, we need to look at life in light of the cross of Christ. Therefore, for Behr, to speak of anything, “e.g. the incarnation, one is making a confession about the crucified and risen Lord”. Anything for Behr, in light of the passion becomes a confession (16). This failure leads to the confessional nature of theological assertions, from a modern perspective, “a character that only can be described as an odd mixture of metaphysics and mythology” (16). For Behr, it is the fact that the

Disciples did not simply come to understand Christ in light of the Passion. Rather, only when turned again (or were turned by the risen Christ) to the scriptures meaning what we now call the “Old Testament” did they begin to see there all sorts of references to Christ, and specifically to the necessity that he should suffer before entering his glory (17).

The point is that the scriptures were not just stories of the past, but rather “a treasury of imagery, for entering into the mystery of Christ, the starting point for which is the historical event of the Passion” (17). Hence, New Testament scripture for Behr, is a theological interpretation of what happened in the first century.

He goes on to argue that the historical critical method of interpretation begins with a story of creation, ending with the second coming of Christ (figure 1, pg. 175) and that this interpretation causes the second person of the trinity to simply be a,

“temporal being, who did various things as the pre-incarnate Logos before becoming incarnate as Jesus Christ; his existence as Jesus Christ is but an episode in a longer biography” (175).

Behr, much prefers an Orthodox perspective that understands the importance of Kierkegaard’s observation, “that while we understand retrospectively, we nevertheless live into the future. As we leave behind modernity’s fascination with the past, it is possible that we are once again in a position to recognize the eschatological Lord” (17-18). He strengthens his argument, by insisting, that the disciples only came to know Christ when the Old Testament scriptures were open to them after the Passion. He offers,

The passion, understood in accordance with the scripture, is the catalysis for reading scripture, and the whole of human existence and history, in a new manner, making everything new… the crucified and exalted Lord, known in this way is thus the starting point for reading scripture (177).

This approach is outlined on page 175 in a chart-form that shows clearly the starting point of history, for Behr. We simply are to see all of life in light of the cross. We are to start with the cross and retell history from its perspective. This is the confessional aspect of Christian theology which is a:

witness to the transforming power of God revealed in the Passion of Christ”, which answers the question ‘is this not Josephs son?’ But in the light of the Passion, they could now proclaim that, in accordance with the scripture, he is indeed the Son of God born of the virgin, a nativity which is, as we have seen, is described in terms of the Passion (179). In this case salvation history is not about reading “Genesis onward” and seeing things as “neutral, objective account as they really were. Rather, it is a way of seeing the scriptures and their description of the world and its history in the light of Christ-it is a confession” (178).

Ultimately for Behr, the New Testament scriptures are a theological matter that has nothing to do with finding an:

original meaning of the text or the mind of the author, ideas which are distinctively modern…As it is only when Christ himself opens the scriptures, to show how they all speak of him and his passion, that the inspired meaning of the scriptures is brought to light, the inspiration of the scriptures cannot be separated from the opening of the sealed book by the slain Lamb.

Behr offers for us a new understanding of the Orthodox voice, which calls us to confess our loyalty to King Jesus in a different way than Orthodox leaders before him, whom often have focused on the spiritual matters of the Church fathers. It is this latter thought we now turn to.

John Breck

The spiritual sense or the “sensus plenior” of the scripture text is at the heart of the argument John Breck puts forth in his book, The Power of the Word: In the Worshiping Church. This notion is taken from the Church (Greek) Fathers and in hence has become the hermeneutic method employed by Breck. This “theoria” is the spiritual vision of the Fathers and has a two-fold understanding. 1) “Refers to a typological association of the two figures related to one another in terms of promise and fulfillment and 2) discerns the existential significance of that typological relationship” (103). For Breck it is not really a method, but a “spiritual perception or divination inspired by the Spirit which discerns the existence of a typological relationship between two persons, objects, institutions or events” (103). The type (typos) then, is defined as a “prophetic image (person, place, object or event) that points forward to and is fulfilled by a corresponding future reality (the antitype)” (55). This becomes important for Breck as it enables the Christian to discern the “soteriological meaning of an event and to participate in it and in the communion with the church as a whole” (104). Furthermore, Breck argues that an exegete must “submit herself to the guidance of the Spirit of Truth” so that this “vision of divine truth can be communicated to the whole church” (110). Breck argues that “theoria” compliments historical-critical method by “supplying a theology of spiritual dimensions that would be otherwise lacking”(95). Breck, asserts that the historical-criticism method holds too closely to the literal event and thus scripture becomes about “man’s word about God rather than God’s word addressed to the church through human agents” (98). However, he does state that theoria: understands the historical event to be an essential vehicle of truth, an eastern vessel that contains an eternal treasure. Yet, unlike allegory, it insists that the event is indispensable as the means by which that eternal truth comes to expression. From the point of view of theoria exegesis does indeed investigate the facts of history…but it does so with the express aim of uncovering and laying bare the meaning of those events for the spiritual life of the believing community. Stated another way, an authentic theoria conceives the aim of biblical interpretation to be the spiritual enlightenment of God’s people. The ultimate purpose then of exegesis is soteriological rather than scientific; and the exegete is properly a theologian rather than a historian (99).When one approaches scripture it is by means of theoria. Conversely, it is important to note that theoria is a two-stage process as it does indeed take the literal historical fact into account, whereas Behr rejects this. For Breck, argues that the exegete must determine the literal sense of the passage (the sense the author himself understood and intended to communicate), the exegete moves to the question of the spiritual sense which the passage reveals for the present life of the community of faith” (111-112)…because both the literal and the spiritual sense derive from divine activity within history (112). Therefore, theoria has no

meaning apart from historical revelation. But like the apostolic witness to that revelation, theoria knows that divine reality (aletheia), which discloses itself within the historical event, is not confined to that event but speaks as well to each succeeding generation.

Finally, it is important to take note that in the receiving of interpretation one must have “an attitude of contemplation which is an essential condition for receiving that vision” (113). For the “interpretation of truth [only] occurs through synergism or cooperation between man and God” (112). This is the “theandric energy that Paul Evdokimov calls, ‘the human act within the divine act’…applied to biblical hermeneutics, this means that scientific research stands in perfect harmony with theoria …so long as the exegete does in fact submit [herself] to the grace and purpose of God (110).

In the end, Breck is arguing that in terms of exegesis and interpretation of Holy Scripture; “theoria is the work of the “Holy Spirit acting within the church, to reveal the full sense of Biblical revelation: its original literal and spiritual meaning in a given historical context” (112).

“Son of Man”

In my midterm paper, I argued that “Son of Man” is a Christological title, applied to Jesus, the Christ within a New Testament theological paradigm and there is evidence that it can be traced back to the “tradition” of Jesus of Nazareth, as well. It is this author’s opinion that the title “Son of Man” is in contrast to that of the title “Son of God”, which leads to a direct understanding of the divine/human nature of Jesus of Nazareth. In light of reading Behr and Breck I would like to append this. First, beginning with Behr’s theory of “confession”, I would agree that this aspect was missing from my paper. Since, having read Behr, I have asked myself what confessional quality is there to declaring that the “Son of Man” has come and is found in Jesus of Nazareth? Clearly, I have looked forward rather than backward as Behr suggests. In looking forward I was using the OT scriptures as a story that happened in the past. Whereas, Behr would argue that we need to look backward in light of the passion event, to see Jesus as the one the OT speaks of.

However, I would also argue that this was a part of my paper in the aspect of “fulfillment”, of those OT passages. I also did not see the “Son of Man” passages as theological interpretations of what happened in the first century, as Behr would. I saw them as actual events to be studied, to determine their original context. This I now see does lose the confessional aspect as it may distort the eternal workings of the Trinity, for it reduces the second member to a temporal being.

In terms of the spiritual aspect of Breck’s work, I can see that there is no spiritual aspect to my paper either. Indeed, I argued against it, as I was trying to make the point that Jesus of Nazareth is and was truly human, not some spiritual being without a bodily resurrection or a bodily, human life and title. It is Breck’s work that I find more difficult to apply. Perhaps, the problem lies in the definition of “spiritual”, or the spiritual vision of the fathers. How do I know they were correct? Perhaps, this can be answered when we consider how the Orthodox see faith.

An essential (Kerygma) text for the Orthodox is Acts 2:32, where we have three facts 1) Jesus is raised, 2) There are Witnesses and 3) the Holy Spirit arrives. This notion is based on the fact that the Christian proclamation utterly depends on words, it does not depend on an experience of history. The faith then comes from words (written historical text) about the historical fact. We then have a faith in the text. Therefore, the Orthodox has a hermeneutical circle of “text and church” which leads to a canon of truth, and the aim for reading it is theology; the essential truth about Jesus (class notes September 25, 2007). This understanding leads to the idea that the canon is not a set of books, but the very idea that Jesus is Lord, the “canon in the flesh”.

Yes, I would agree with Breck that there is a “theoria” in that we need to pay attention to the literal interpretation, with a spirit open, to the Holy Spirit’s guidance. I also see his point that the historical-criticism method holds too closely to the literal event and thus scripture becomes about “man’s word about God rather than God’s word addressed to the church through human agents” (98). This can be seen in my paper with my firm assertions of just who I think Jesus of Nazareth is. Perhaps, Westerners have forgotten that the Kerygmatic statement is a theological faith statement that the Orthodox build from Romans 9-11, “all are saved” (class notes October 9, 2007).

In conclusion, I would agree that the Orthodox may indeed have a richer understanding of the New Testament texts than the Western view, with their historical- critical method. The Orthodox have a strong sense of Kerygma (Jesus as the canon himself, class notes October 30th), seeing the world in light of the cross, and they posses a deeper confessional and spiritual nature. The use of typology (finding Jesus as the revealed Word of God), paradox, icons and allegory seem to bring the texts much more alive. One thing the Orthodox do extremely well (and my Baptist heritage often ignores entirely) is the use of the church Fathers. Florovsky for example says,

The Bible, as a book, has been composed in the community and was meant primarily for its edification. The book and the Church cannot be separated. The book and the Covenant belong together, and Covenant implies people. It was the People of the Covenant to whom the Word of God had been entrusted under the old dispensation (Rom. 3:2), and it is the Church of the Word Incarnate that keeps the message of the Kingdom... but the book stands by the testimony of the Church. The canon of the Bible is obviously established and authorized by the Church (18).

Ultimately, the question for Westerners is, “does our faith stand on a chair dropping incident (class notes September 18, 2007)?” Or do we allow the testimony of Kerygma to direct our faith? Can we see the “great plan of God in and through this New Testament theological narrative (class notes October 30, 2007)? The argument proposed by Breck, Behr and Florovsky overwhelming says yes. Perhaps, the West could learn from the Orthodox when they say theosis, “Us in Christ” rather than our arrogant “Christ in Us” (class notes September 18, 2007)?

Works Cited

Behr, J. The Mystery of Christ: Life and Death Saint Vladimir's Seminary Press: New York, 2006.

Breck, J. The Power of the Word: In the Worshiping Church Saint Vladimir's Seminary Press: New York, 1986.

Florovsky, G. Bible, Church, Tradition: An Eastern Orthodox View. Nordland Publishing: Massachusetts, 1972.

When You Are Scared

This week has been difficult and I am scared. This has been a peek and valley week and they simply exhaust me. This has been a week of good byes.
As I type I wipe away some falling tears and my thoughts are on, what condition is my faith in?
I have cried out to the Lord, many times this week, sometimes in a fit of anger and other times as a scared child. My inner being has been through much.
I had three situations arise where my sense of calling was challenged, my sense of being faithful was put under a microscope and my acknowledgment of where I belong was questioned. In these times I walked away feeling very small, unloved, judged and lonely. In each situation, I asked God to explain what was happening, and to help me to respond lovingly and to shake off any of the encounter that was not of Him. He, however was silent. And I struggled through Monday, Tuesday and part of Wednesday feeling out of sorts, angry and frightened.
Another encounter happened, that shocked me and I sat on my couch and cried. I called my pastor and emailed my two best friends-they all called and I explained something had happened which was very hurtful and upsetting. I cried some more on the couch and asked God to please give me some direction of what to do with all of this hurt and confusion this week. God remained silent and I was scared, right down to my core.
Now, I have enough wonderful experience to know that God will speak, again. I, just, am not always patient waiting for Them and I have been reminded this week of Psalm 46 where it says "Be still and know that I am God" and I also heard Jesus say, "I am here" and I could almost feel him rubbing my back. God has been present, just quiet.
I headed out to foot-washing, miserable, afraid and feeling worthless.

Then, God spoke, and it was loud.

He spoke through a person, who asked me to do something for the Out of the Cold Guests- and in this very simple act I was once again energized (to steal a phrase from John Torrance) and felt life surge back into me. In fact the whole night of serving was exactly what I needed to refresh my call, strengthen my stance of who I am in Jesus and a clear reminder that my self-worth only is found in God. I do not need anything or anyone except God. The Holy Spirit was flowing Wednesday night with grace and love and I was reminded of Peter
Holmes' sermon, from last Sunday, where he talked about "stirring up the gift".
That was exactly what I needed to do. I needed to remember all that God has done in and through me. All of the pain and fear of the day and the week flowed out of me and into the arms of friends and strangers who held me captive by their love and Grace. It was a humbling night and I was renewed, but to be honest a little fear lingered.
The next day was also difficult and of course I had not slept the night before so it could have been more about being tired. Nonetheless, I spent the day down at campus tying up lose ends, having a lunch date and spending my last night with Adele before she goes to Africa. What does this got to do with anything? Well just because I was energized does not mean the problems of the week were solved and I had some lingering feelings of fear and thoughts on how to respond. Just then, I picked up my final paper from Dr. Wyatt and it was full of comments about my "enthusiasm and energy, quick mind and beautiful spirit all prepared to serve in professional ministry". Her comments seized my soul and I sat on a bench and cried-Jesus sat beside me laughing, His gentle laugh and He said, "See, you know who you are and to whom you belong-you know what I have called you to do and you are affirmed in deep ways. Take the lessons from last night and today and carry on-trust my plans for you are good"
The fear has subsided a little and I am recalling how God did speak this week in the midst of my stormy life and how gentle and good He is. He is my fortress and my refuge a very present help in trouble. If only I can remember this today!

Frustrated

Tonight, after volunteering at the church and walking home in the freezing wind, I did a lot of thinking-this past week has been dreadful and I am sure I am to blame for most of it. It seems that I was fighting or picking fights with everyone. My poor husband got the brunt of most of it and finally today, he told me, "I haven't been very nice, lately". So what's going on with me that I can't seem to get along with anyone including Marc and Adele?
Well, for starters, and this is no excuse, just an explanation I am very frustrated, filled with some doubts and annoyed with God. The frustration is because I feel stuck and once again I am having to wait-we all know I am not very patient-If there was one spiritual gift that I wish I had been born with, that would be the one, patience. I really struggle with having to wait for other people to make up there minds and I need a lot of prayer about this.
The doubts in my mind are non-stop right now. I am doubting just about everything. I doubt I am loved, cared for, included, thought of etc.. I doubt I have any gifts, doubt god will provide work for me etc.. Strange these doubts, I even had a thought that God didn't exist. I rarely feel this way and I think I am experiencing post Christmas blues even though I was already "blue" during the holidays.
The reason I am annoyed with God is because of Adele going to Africa and me stuck here having to wait-it seems the longer I wait for a church the less I feel that I am capable, but then there was tonight at foot washing- I can't believe how much I enjoy washing some very stinky feet- These precious lives are dear to me and even more dear to God. I prayed for them all tonight, as I rubbed their toes. I also had an idea about an art program which seems like it is a go. I also spent the night explaining to a volunteer some very basic Christian things and as I walked home reflecting on the night I realized I did not have a single thought of doubt or annoyance and nor was I frustrated, I simply was surrounded by love, acted lovingly and was very aware of God's presence. As I walked I thought about this verse from Lamentations, It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3:26
Well, this week I feel like I have waited for 100 years-it has been hard- I also know I am tired and there is a lot of change happening in my life. These are things I don't always handle well. But it is good to wait on the Lord-I have learned that when He seems silent I need to wait,for he will speak again-when it seems like he is not moving I must sit and wait too. He is my salvation, my rock and my refuge. He is a very present help in trouble- This week I got into trouble with everyone and I must apologize and make amends. I must trust and know that he is God.
I am so thankful that even when I am having these temper tantrums, God still let's me play and serve in his Kingdom-He is patient-he never doubts me and I am always loved by him, no matter what I do. Praise be to God!

I

Happy 2008!!

Last night Paul and I attended one of the nicest "watch night services" we have ever been to. I grew up going to church on New Years Eve so I have attended many. This one, was the first time where we "prayed" in the New Year. About one minute to 12 the Minister (Rev. John Torrance) said, "Let us pray in the New Year". He prayed a beautiful prayer and I found myself weeping.
In the other services, I attended in the past, the Pastors always preached through the 12:00 moment , but this was different, somehow more Holy and it will be a practice I take up, as a Pastor.
The soloist also did a lovely job and Adele came with us.
We had gone to dinner at Il Fornellos, before hand, which had been a great Christmas gift from Heather and Harold. Our waiter was terrific and so was the food. All in all, it was a perfect night and I feel at peace this morning "going into the unknown". I know God is with me no matter what happens and that I can take the next step of faith. So here is to another year, come what may!
Blessings to you all,
Pammy