Paul's Big Break

Once again my darling husband has had an accident at work and once again he is on disability.
This Fall has proven to be very difficult and once again we are not prepared for such a calamity either physically and or financially.
Some times I wonder what life would be like if we had lots of money, or better millions.
What we do have, is our relationship with God and that is priceless. The other night Paul and I read through the Prophet Habakkuk and we both said we sorta feel like him. There is much misfortune going on in Israel and Habakkuk is very dismayed. He asks God how long will the evil in Judah go unpunished? (1:2–4). Tonight, Paul and I are asking a similar question-how long will we be in this torment? God does makes it clear, however, that eventually the corrupt destroyer will itself be destroyed. In the end, Habakkuk learns to rest in God’s sovereign appointments and await his working in a spirit of worship. He learns to wait patiently in faith (2:3–4) for God’s kingdom to be expressed universally (2:14).
Both Paul and are waiting and we know that in the end through this time of pruning our branches will bear fruit and once again just as Habakkuk discovers, the olive branch will bear oil.
Pamela

BCOQ New Pastors Retreat

Well the time finally came and I was off to the New Pastors Retreat for the Baptist Convention of Ontario and Quebec. This was an amazing filled week of guests speakers, new friendships and way to much food. I had a terrific roommate by the name of Julia and I made some lasting friendships. It is a great honour to be associated with BCOQ and to have the support of my church family as I travel along this journey of becoming a pastor. I have many people to thank: Curt, John T., Adele, Marc, my adorable husband Paul, Aunt Pam, my parents (May they Rest in Peace), all the staff at BCOQ, professors from Tyndale and Wycliffe and so many more I could fill a book. My prayer is that I serve God faithfully with an abundance of love and that I grow deeply in my realtionship with Jesus!

A Change of Heart

Usually, the expression "a change of heart" means that someone has changed their mind. In my case it really is about my heart and how open it is to all people. This Fall is proving to be a very difficult time for me. I am in, what we call in the Christian world a "time of pruning". There is a beautiful story found in the Gospel of John, chapter 15 where Jesus tells his disciples that He is the "True Vine". The point Jesus is trying to make, is that when you have a rose bush or grape vine it needs to be pruned so healthy buds can form and blossom and that is what is happening to me. However, pruning hurts, it is a cutting away of bad leaves and ill branches, but as the bad is cut away there is room for more beautiful healthy fruit, it is a very good agricultural practise. This is the "season" I am in right now. God has been pruning me in deep ways. If you have experienced this type of pruning you know how long it can last and how painful it can be. What I have also learned from the past is to be very quiet during these times, to seek one or two very wise mentors to discuss the process with and to openly cry with the Lord.
In time, I will be able to discuss more openly the "issue" God is causing me to reflect on right now and if I am to be really honest God is challenging me to see if there is a particular sin in my life that needs His cleansing. For now, I will wait as He prunes me, I will speak to those whom are wiser than I am and I will be comforted with the hope that in the future I will bear more fruit and I learn to serve in a more healthy way. A change of heart, literally means being open to God's love and love for others. My heart, I pray, is always open-it is changing to be bigger and bigger to fit more people in.

Thanksgiving 2007

This was our first Thanksgiving without my dad. It was sad. As I cooked the turkey and mashed the turnip I had eyes filled with tears. When we sat down and I held my husbands hand to say grace, I was suddenly stricken with fear.

I feel so alone. I miss my parents so much. All I could mutter was thank you God for the bird. My guest snorted and then we all laughed.

The reality, is that I am very thankful for much, but I am also filled with grief.

This fall has been difficult on so many levels and things are not letting up. One thing I do know, is that God loves me and has been very present lately. For this, I give great thanks.