Have you ever washed someones feet? I have washed many feet for many different reasons and frankly it was always a wonderful and sacred moment. Think of washing a newborns little toes or a toddler who has just learned about mud. Think of professionals who do pedicures and those that care for diabetic feet. Washing a foot or any part of another can be something to cherish.
Jesus washed the disciples feet, even the feet of the one he knew would betray him-now that is friendship! How hard it is sometimes to wash and care for those that are hurting us, but that is how Jesus defined friendship, no matter how much the disciples goofed up, or abandoned him or betrayed him he still reached out in love and washed them. He also said, " Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends". Wow, die for my friend? That must be some kind of friendship. I am very blessed to have such friends, very blessed!
Though, I often wonder am I that kind of friend, too? The answer I am sure is no. In fact I am certain that I have failed more often as a friend then I would really like to count, but this week, with a friend laying on my bed in tears about a difficulty in her life, she turned to me and said, "Pamela you have had to sacrifice so much for me this past little while and I will never forget what you have done". I was shocked because I don't feel like Paul and I have sacrificed much or at all. We simply love Sara and she needs some care which we can offer, but when explaining to someone why Sara now lives with us, this other person commented with, "that is a great sacrifice".
I suspect that some of my misunderstandings about sacrificial friendships are because I am still uncomfortable with receiving grace and asking for help and allowing people to sacrifice for me. I am much better at offering grace and willing to sacrifice for others. I also think I believe(wrongly)that sacrifice has to hurt somehow.
In the past two years I have experienced a great number of times where I have needed help from others. Spiritual, physical, economical and emotional help has all been offered and thankfully accepted. It has been very hard, but I am learning when I deny people their chance to care for me I deny true friendship. I deny them the chance to use their gifts.
This very week I had lunch with a beloved friend, who told me a complicated story(eluded to in my two past posts)of how he stuck up for me and ultimately lost a job because he cares for my reputation and our friendship. Of course I feel some guilt over this, but I am also learning to receive love and accept the sacrifice of others for me. I cannot serve people authentically if I cannot receive openly God's grace, through them.
Friendships, true intimate and loving friendships lead to the washing of each others bodies both physically and spiritually. Friendships like the ones Jesus has called us to, means we are willing to lay down our lives for one another and accepting the beautiful gift of others laying their lives done for us, just like Jesus did on the cross.
I am still learning and thankful this week for a beloved friend, and through his sacrifice I am being reminded that I am valued and loved enough to die for!
Sacrificially,
Pamela
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Our Barty has Passed Away
Paul and I said goodbye to our dear Barty, who was 16 years old. He is greatly missed.
Greetings Friend
For nearly the last two weeks I have been blessed with having Adele's car while she is away on holidays. What ease there has been in grocery shopping, running errands and picking Sara up at the end of the day or driving her to the Subway to begin the day. Paul has loved having the car to drive to work, at night. We are very thankful for the gift of Adele's car which is a token of her friendship.
Her trust in us to care for her car has made me think a great deal about friendship and to what cost some friendships have, if any, for us. Should there be a cost to friendship? If you have been following my blog you will note the comment I made in my last entry about another friendship that I am thinking of ending because I feel the cost may be to high for my friend. This of course is a decision he needs to make and a situation where I may need to grow more comfortable with another's choice to sacrifice for me and offer me grace (things that don't come easily for me).
For now, I want to spend some time thinking through and seeing what Holy Scripture has to say about friendships, particularly the notion of "Greeting each other with a Holy Kiss".
One of the things I have enjoyed greatly this past week while waiting for Sara at the subway,(she is often late lol...)is the people waving and kissing goodbye, the people hugging and kissing hello. I am a hugging, kissing type and there is nothing better than smooching with my hubby before we say goodbye and especially, hello. However, there were many, if not more, people at the subway drop-off with growls on their faces and often a terrible look of displeasure when picking someone up. It struck me that many people appeared to be disgruntled or unhappy at the arrival of the person they were waiting for. For these people few words were spoken, or someone was on a cellphone and barely acknowledged the person getting in the car. Others slammed doors while some simply looked exasperated. There was no kissing or hugging going on in these greetings. Some situations made me feel very sorry for the folks arriving, as some pick up drivers were menacing. I found it all rather upsetting. I am of course an outsider, and we all have bad days and I did not have all the facts about the relationships, so perhaps I have judge to harshly some of the greetings that I saw, but body language and verbal cues tell us a great deal...
I was indeed much happier to hear the squeals of joy when a parent,child,friend or girlfriend/boyfriend arrived. There were many couples who smooched and hugged, some danced and did little jigs of joy. Others ran and jumped into long outstretched arms, while others whistled a familiar flirty tune at each other. There was lots of hugging, grinning, laughter and kissing going on. This made me smile and I can honestly say that for Sara and I, for all the time I waited for Sara or dropped her off, we parted and greeted with sisterly love.
I can't imagine greeting my loved ones with anything but a smile or hug and or kiss. If you know me well, you know I hate parting and I am often the one to initiate a hug and kiss. Those of us that are part of the Christian family know the value of vulnerable, honest, holy and loving touch. We know it is safe and good to embrace, hold hands and kiss without there being an erotic or romantic level to it. We know that with Jesus we have been given the joy of washing each others feet and Peter and Paul both encourage us to "greet one another with a Holy kiss".
It is this Holy kiss that I have been wondering about. What is it? Why do it?
When do we do it and for whom is it directed?
As I look at scripture I see that the holy kiss instructions are personal greetings. We find them in Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; and 1 Peter 5:14. I have discovered that they are not only a instruction in the context of personal greetings, they are personal greetings. The greetings at the end of epistles are personal greetings from the writer to those they love and are thinking and praying for. They are personal and do not appear to be intended as general instructions for the whole church. Peter and Paul it seems are merely telling those who received their letters to pass on their greetings to others. The English word “greet” in the King James Version is translated from the same Greek word, aspazomai. This word can also be translated “embrace” (see Acts 20:1). It is a term of greeting and affection. So, the instructions concerning the holy kiss are entirely appropriate in this context.
In many Middle Eastern cultures, people greet each other with a hug and a kiss. For Saint Paul it is deeper it is understood to be a Christian greeting, so Paul calls it a "holy kiss". In today's world a good example would be signing a card that says, “Give Molly hugs and kisses from me” Paul is saying, give everyone a warm greeting and holy kiss from me.
So what are we to do today when we physically greet and part? As far as I can figure out there is no Biblical instructions on greetings and partings. Perhaps, it is up to our cultures to teach us? If greeting with a kiss is common in your culture and would be excepted by a recipient, then, by all means,embrace. As for me and my household we shall hug, kiss, handshake and wash your feet, if you so desire and I usually desire it!!!
With sisterly, Christian love,
Pamela
Her trust in us to care for her car has made me think a great deal about friendship and to what cost some friendships have, if any, for us. Should there be a cost to friendship? If you have been following my blog you will note the comment I made in my last entry about another friendship that I am thinking of ending because I feel the cost may be to high for my friend. This of course is a decision he needs to make and a situation where I may need to grow more comfortable with another's choice to sacrifice for me and offer me grace (things that don't come easily for me).
For now, I want to spend some time thinking through and seeing what Holy Scripture has to say about friendships, particularly the notion of "Greeting each other with a Holy Kiss".
One of the things I have enjoyed greatly this past week while waiting for Sara at the subway,(she is often late lol...)is the people waving and kissing goodbye, the people hugging and kissing hello. I am a hugging, kissing type and there is nothing better than smooching with my hubby before we say goodbye and especially, hello. However, there were many, if not more, people at the subway drop-off with growls on their faces and often a terrible look of displeasure when picking someone up. It struck me that many people appeared to be disgruntled or unhappy at the arrival of the person they were waiting for. For these people few words were spoken, or someone was on a cellphone and barely acknowledged the person getting in the car. Others slammed doors while some simply looked exasperated. There was no kissing or hugging going on in these greetings. Some situations made me feel very sorry for the folks arriving, as some pick up drivers were menacing. I found it all rather upsetting. I am of course an outsider, and we all have bad days and I did not have all the facts about the relationships, so perhaps I have judge to harshly some of the greetings that I saw, but body language and verbal cues tell us a great deal...
I was indeed much happier to hear the squeals of joy when a parent,child,friend or girlfriend/boyfriend arrived. There were many couples who smooched and hugged, some danced and did little jigs of joy. Others ran and jumped into long outstretched arms, while others whistled a familiar flirty tune at each other. There was lots of hugging, grinning, laughter and kissing going on. This made me smile and I can honestly say that for Sara and I, for all the time I waited for Sara or dropped her off, we parted and greeted with sisterly love.
I can't imagine greeting my loved ones with anything but a smile or hug and or kiss. If you know me well, you know I hate parting and I am often the one to initiate a hug and kiss. Those of us that are part of the Christian family know the value of vulnerable, honest, holy and loving touch. We know it is safe and good to embrace, hold hands and kiss without there being an erotic or romantic level to it. We know that with Jesus we have been given the joy of washing each others feet and Peter and Paul both encourage us to "greet one another with a Holy kiss".
It is this Holy kiss that I have been wondering about. What is it? Why do it?
When do we do it and for whom is it directed?
As I look at scripture I see that the holy kiss instructions are personal greetings. We find them in Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; and 1 Peter 5:14. I have discovered that they are not only a instruction in the context of personal greetings, they are personal greetings. The greetings at the end of epistles are personal greetings from the writer to those they love and are thinking and praying for. They are personal and do not appear to be intended as general instructions for the whole church. Peter and Paul it seems are merely telling those who received their letters to pass on their greetings to others. The English word “greet” in the King James Version is translated from the same Greek word, aspazomai. This word can also be translated “embrace” (see Acts 20:1). It is a term of greeting and affection. So, the instructions concerning the holy kiss are entirely appropriate in this context.
In many Middle Eastern cultures, people greet each other with a hug and a kiss. For Saint Paul it is deeper it is understood to be a Christian greeting, so Paul calls it a "holy kiss". In today's world a good example would be signing a card that says, “Give Molly hugs and kisses from me” Paul is saying, give everyone a warm greeting and holy kiss from me.
So what are we to do today when we physically greet and part? As far as I can figure out there is no Biblical instructions on greetings and partings. Perhaps, it is up to our cultures to teach us? If greeting with a kiss is common in your culture and would be excepted by a recipient, then, by all means,embrace. As for me and my household we shall hug, kiss, handshake and wash your feet, if you so desire and I usually desire it!!!
With sisterly, Christian love,
Pamela
Friday, July 9, 2010
Mercy Me
I want to close our series on mercy with thanksgiving. First and foremost to God who continually shows me mercy and who has shown me lately some areas in my life where I have not given Him my complete heart. I am thankful for the ways in which God entrusts His other kids to me even though I mess up all the time. i am thankful for the Gospel stories that tell me and teach me about Jesus and His way of mercy. Jesus taught on mercy (Matt. 5:7; 9:13; 23:23). He is described as having compassion (Matt. 9:36; 15:32; 23:37; Luke 7:13) and was so filled with mercy that He wept (John 11:35). And who can forget the Good Samaritan? It is one of the most classic stories ever told on the subject of mercy (Luke 10:30-37).
I am thankful for the folks at Gathering Spot who continually teach me how to love even in difficult situations. They show mercy to strangers and marginalized folks in a way that is completely supernatural.
I am very much aware that the dark season I had lived in, (see Psalm 88)all of last year, is now behind me and so to the restful time, in coming out of the dark season is finished. I am now in a terrific season of trust and because of this the devils attacks have been immense. Just recently, I received an email from a dear friend, whom I trust and love. The email was to indicate that a project he and I were to work on had fallen through. I immediately knew the reason had to do with another person, who in the past has had difficulty with me (perhaps with reason) and now my friend who sent the email was no longer involved in a project he was interested in. I have experienced guilt over this and for a few days have seriously considered giving up my dear friendship so I do not cause him more hardship. More importantly though is the realization that I really have not forgiven this other person, as much as I had thought I had. In the past time with this person was very difficult for me and I even hated him for a long time. I do not hate him now and actually I know I have forgiven him because when I see him my stomach is no longer in knots and I genuinely want the best for him. But there was a moment last week when my thoughts were not good towards him and God spoke to me saying, Pamela I have shown you mercy-I have granted you mercy, I have forgiven your sins, what do you need to do now? Of course God is right, I now need to offer him mercy and to try and see things from his perspective.
Keeping our definition in mind (mercy is not receiving from God, what I deserve, punishment) God was once again probing me to be more like Him. He did not chastise me for my thoughts, but He made me aware of how easy it is to forget and to be merciless. This is a lesson I do not wish to forget.
As we continue in life may we give great thanks to God for His mercy and may we continue to offer it to all those we encounter, even in our darkest most difficult days and especially when our past comes back to haunt us.
Mercy Me,
Pamela
I am thankful for the folks at Gathering Spot who continually teach me how to love even in difficult situations. They show mercy to strangers and marginalized folks in a way that is completely supernatural.
I am very much aware that the dark season I had lived in, (see Psalm 88)all of last year, is now behind me and so to the restful time, in coming out of the dark season is finished. I am now in a terrific season of trust and because of this the devils attacks have been immense. Just recently, I received an email from a dear friend, whom I trust and love. The email was to indicate that a project he and I were to work on had fallen through. I immediately knew the reason had to do with another person, who in the past has had difficulty with me (perhaps with reason) and now my friend who sent the email was no longer involved in a project he was interested in. I have experienced guilt over this and for a few days have seriously considered giving up my dear friendship so I do not cause him more hardship. More importantly though is the realization that I really have not forgiven this other person, as much as I had thought I had. In the past time with this person was very difficult for me and I even hated him for a long time. I do not hate him now and actually I know I have forgiven him because when I see him my stomach is no longer in knots and I genuinely want the best for him. But there was a moment last week when my thoughts were not good towards him and God spoke to me saying, Pamela I have shown you mercy-I have granted you mercy, I have forgiven your sins, what do you need to do now? Of course God is right, I now need to offer him mercy and to try and see things from his perspective.
Keeping our definition in mind (mercy is not receiving from God, what I deserve, punishment) God was once again probing me to be more like Him. He did not chastise me for my thoughts, but He made me aware of how easy it is to forget and to be merciless. This is a lesson I do not wish to forget.
As we continue in life may we give great thanks to God for His mercy and may we continue to offer it to all those we encounter, even in our darkest most difficult days and especially when our past comes back to haunt us.
Mercy Me,
Pamela
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