As Baptists we do not traditionally celebrate Lent, but this past year the "giving up" of something took on a whole new meaning for me. I felt like I was sacrificing my whole life for this child I still did not want, nor love. Lent came along with it my responsibilities to do extra services in the community and I was so sick with all day "morning sickness" and exhaustion I am still not sure how I got through the days. Did I also mention that Wiarton was facing it's worse winter since 1999? Lent for me this year taught me about real sacrifice. I was now having to sacrifice so very much to keep this little child alive and well. You see I am almost 40, diabetic and hypertensive and with all the doom and gloom news about this baby actually making it and what I was going to have to do to keep her I nearly lost my mind, except for what Lent meant to me and the sacrifices Jesus made on my behalf and on behalf of the world.
Lent has to do with the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for His ministry by facing the temptations that could lead him to abandon his mission and calling. Christians today use this period of time for introspection, self examination, and repentance. that was what I was needing to do and in due time I did. what God spoke to me about was what was coming, my health care, the baby's health care, working steady and strong at my job, trusting God to give Paul a job (he was unemployed for the first nine months we were here), trusting God through the winter and learning to really lean on God for all the scary thoughts going through my mind--what I had to give up was the usual: trust in my ways and lean not on my own understanding, but acknowledge God's ways and trust in Him. what I was learning is that something bigger then me was coming-it was on the horizon in the form of a baby and I was going to need every ounce of trust and faith in God that I had to get through and that meant giving myself and my ways up...
No comments:
Post a Comment