For nearly the last two weeks I have been blessed with having Adele's car while she is away on holidays. What ease there has been in grocery shopping, running errands and picking Sara up at the end of the day or driving her to the Subway to begin the day. Paul has loved having the car to drive to work, at night. We are very thankful for the gift of Adele's car which is a token of her friendship.
Her trust in us to care for her car has made me think a great deal about friendship and to what cost some friendships have, if any, for us. Should there be a cost to friendship? If you have been following my blog you will note the comment I made in my last entry about another friendship that I am thinking of ending because I feel the cost may be to high for my friend. This of course is a decision he needs to make and a situation where I may need to grow more comfortable with another's choice to sacrifice for me and offer me grace (things that don't come easily for me).
For now, I want to spend some time thinking through and seeing what Holy Scripture has to say about friendships, particularly the notion of "Greeting each other with a Holy Kiss".
One of the things I have enjoyed greatly this past week while waiting for Sara at the subway,(she is often late lol...)is the people waving and kissing goodbye, the people hugging and kissing hello. I am a hugging, kissing type and there is nothing better than smooching with my hubby before we say goodbye and especially, hello. However, there were many, if not more, people at the subway drop-off with growls on their faces and often a terrible look of displeasure when picking someone up. It struck me that many people appeared to be disgruntled or unhappy at the arrival of the person they were waiting for. For these people few words were spoken, or someone was on a cellphone and barely acknowledged the person getting in the car. Others slammed doors while some simply looked exasperated. There was no kissing or hugging going on in these greetings. Some situations made me feel very sorry for the folks arriving, as some pick up drivers were menacing. I found it all rather upsetting. I am of course an outsider, and we all have bad days and I did not have all the facts about the relationships, so perhaps I have judge to harshly some of the greetings that I saw, but body language and verbal cues tell us a great deal...
I was indeed much happier to hear the squeals of joy when a parent,child,friend or girlfriend/boyfriend arrived. There were many couples who smooched and hugged, some danced and did little jigs of joy. Others ran and jumped into long outstretched arms, while others whistled a familiar flirty tune at each other. There was lots of hugging, grinning, laughter and kissing going on. This made me smile and I can honestly say that for Sara and I, for all the time I waited for Sara or dropped her off, we parted and greeted with sisterly love.
I can't imagine greeting my loved ones with anything but a smile or hug and or kiss. If you know me well, you know I hate parting and I am often the one to initiate a hug and kiss. Those of us that are part of the Christian family know the value of vulnerable, honest, holy and loving touch. We know it is safe and good to embrace, hold hands and kiss without there being an erotic or romantic level to it. We know that with Jesus we have been given the joy of washing each others feet and Peter and Paul both encourage us to "greet one another with a Holy kiss".
It is this Holy kiss that I have been wondering about. What is it? Why do it?
When do we do it and for whom is it directed?
As I look at scripture I see that the holy kiss instructions are personal greetings. We find them in Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; and 1 Peter 5:14. I have discovered that they are not only a instruction in the context of personal greetings, they are personal greetings. The greetings at the end of epistles are personal greetings from the writer to those they love and are thinking and praying for. They are personal and do not appear to be intended as general instructions for the whole church. Peter and Paul it seems are merely telling those who received their letters to pass on their greetings to others. The English word “greet” in the King James Version is translated from the same Greek word, aspazomai. This word can also be translated “embrace” (see Acts 20:1). It is a term of greeting and affection. So, the instructions concerning the holy kiss are entirely appropriate in this context.
In many Middle Eastern cultures, people greet each other with a hug and a kiss. For Saint Paul it is deeper it is understood to be a Christian greeting, so Paul calls it a "holy kiss". In today's world a good example would be signing a card that says, “Give Molly hugs and kisses from me” Paul is saying, give everyone a warm greeting and holy kiss from me.
So what are we to do today when we physically greet and part? As far as I can figure out there is no Biblical instructions on greetings and partings. Perhaps, it is up to our cultures to teach us? If greeting with a kiss is common in your culture and would be excepted by a recipient, then, by all means,embrace. As for me and my household we shall hug, kiss, handshake and wash your feet, if you so desire and I usually desire it!!!
With sisterly, Christian love,
Pamela
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