What does it mean to be a failure?

I finally did it, I dropped out of my thesis program. After months of struggle, stalled conversations, unhelpful comments and a life of chaos I finally listened to what the Lord has been saying.
For two years now, God has been telling me to, "Stop being do driven academically. I do not want you to be an expert preacher Pamela, I want you to be an expert in me".
It has been a difficult road coming to this decision (probably didn't need to be if I had just listened) and really I think the question for today should be how do I define success, not what does it mean to be a failure?
My all to fallen human side is screaming you failed, you are dumb. But myself which is in Jesus, gently reminds me that success is not defined in degrees, prestige, human ideas about beauty, financial wealth or things. Rather, true success is found in the deep: peace, goodness, gentleness, love, perseverance, joy, patience, faithfulness, and self control. These of course are the "fruit" one bears and receives, from others in Christ Jesus and I should be practising them so much more and accepting them from others
For the next few weeks I will have to live with the implications of dropping out of my program and that in itself is difficult, there are many.
Hopefully, the voice in my head (which is quite loud, today) will be dimmed, when I intentionally focus on God's ideas of success. But it really boils down to a matter of doing it....
The picture I choose for this entry, is one I took from Adele's car when we were at Lake Luther, in the summer. It represents the journey I am on with God. His path is straight, clean and beautiful. There is evidence of Him going before me. But it remains blurry because I often begin to take my eyes off of Him and then I get lost. So this week I will begin to care for myself by trusting that real success is found in Him, only. So, what does it mean to be a failure? Well, simply put, in Jesus I am NOT!